We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
