You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize