Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I think I sprained my soul last night
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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