He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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