I'm really into asian looking animals
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
