i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
His hands were made for my vagina.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
