I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
