It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
