Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Let's paint friendship bongs
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
