I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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