Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
