if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize