honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
