what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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