And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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