absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
