you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
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