Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
