A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
