New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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