xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
