I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
