ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Boobs are out for the taking
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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