That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
