The maid of honor just puked.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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