Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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