dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
