I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
