Where is the hickey?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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