WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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