Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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