I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
