I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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