I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
