so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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