If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
