On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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