marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You can't special order awesome
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
My penis needs a shock collar
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
