That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
