Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
