i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
