We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm gonna fight the coyote
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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