Rock
Scissors
Fuck
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
