Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.

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(773): View more from Illinois

i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck

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(519): View more from Ontario

I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".

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(916): View more from California

keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something

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(519): View more from Ontario

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.

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(209): View more from California

I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird

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(423): View more from Tennessee

I'm gonna eat you out. But for science

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work

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