My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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