the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
