My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Randomize
