From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
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