Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
