have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I just had sex on a roof
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
