so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
