Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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