And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
