Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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