What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
