there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
