its not stalking. its research.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
