I want to make a zoo with you.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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