Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
