his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
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