I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
