dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
