my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
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