Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
