another moral hangover. fuck.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
organizing the empties. That sober.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
