Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
