hell yes lets make some ravioli
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
