What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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