It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize