Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
