Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
