I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
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